"Just Friends"

There is a myriad of different ways to define a relationship these days. Some are fairly simple - parent to child, brother to sister, friend to friend, etc. Of course, you can get creative with nomenclature, but no matter whether you call someone your homeboy or your bff, the world still recognizes that as falling under the "friend to friend" category. Things get a little more complicated when we start talking "male to female" (or vice versa. Now , I'm not one of those people who thinks that men and women are only friends if they have some romantic motives lurking beneath the surface; but even the most optimistic idealist would probably admit to having pursued an acquaintance for something more than just a lunch buddy at some point in his or her life. So we have a man and a woman who have 'feelings' for each other (don't you just love this jargon?). Do we just call them a couple and be done with it? Oh no, that would be too easy! If you asked the woman, "What are you and John Doe over there," she may reply mentally something like this: "Well, we're friends but we like each other but we haven't really said anything but I know that he likes me but I'm not really ready for a relationship right now..." You get the idea. Of course, no self-respecting woman would give an answer like that, except perhaps to her closest girlfriend, so what comes out instead?
"Oh, we're just friends."
In case there is any doubt about what it means to be "just friends," I've put together a handy dandy checklist. These are things from my personal experience, so if you have an addendum, please comment and share your story :)

1. You and your friend sit less than three inches apart on a couch, when the rest of the couch is empty.


2. You look forward to rainy days because you get to share an umbrella with your friend (small umbrellas are preferred in such situations).


3. (For the ladies) You take every opportunity you get to tell your friend how cold you are, in hopes that he will put a friendly arm around your shoulders.


4. (For the gents)You find yourself complimenting your friend on her looks at least 3 times as much as you do any other acquaintance.


5. You have regular "outings" with your friend (dinner and a movie are always a good choice)


6. You think of your friend every time you hear a romantic ballad.


7. It's a regular occurrence for you to catch your friend staring at you (or vice versa).


8. Somehow, whether your friend is coughing up a lung or sweaty and disgusting, you still want him/her to be near.


9. You discover that your friend's jokes are ten times funnier than any other jokes you may have ever heard (this rule applies to any of your friend's creative endeavors).


10. You're going through a rough time and you need a 20-minute pep talk from anyone else, but all it takes from your friend to help you get through it all is just a smile :)

So What's Your Song?

So every couple has to have a song that they have deemed "our song", right? Answer: yes. It just seems to happen. It really has nothing to do with how affectionate they are, how sweet they are, or how much they like music. The "our song" really doesn't even have to be in a style that both parties usually enjoy. Why? Because it's all about the lyric content of the song. Abbi and I really have a few songs like that (because of memories, etc.), but there is really one that would stand out as "our song": "When Did You Fall" by Chris Rice. It is a simple song in a jazz-pop style with, at times, quite witty lyrics. As we have discovered, it's actually a great driving song. You  know... drivin' along, maybe going out on a date, maybe just driving around... all of  sudden, BAM! ...song...

...smiles...

It's really a wonderful thing to have a song by which two people can relate and reminisce. Especially dealing with love and romance. So here's the plan: I'll post the lyrics to "our song" and you all can post the names and lyrics of YOUR "our songs" ;) Just comment back with it!

God bless you guys!

"When Did You Fall" - Chris Rice

You’re all smiles and silly conversation

As if this sunny day came just for you

You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away

C’mon, tell me what’s right with you

Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’

And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize

‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me

I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?

Was it out of the blue

‘Cause I swear I never knew it

When did you let your heart run free?

Have you been waiting long?

When did you fall in love with me?

When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind

C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes

You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time

All the ones that slipped by me

I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’

Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize

‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now

Right here before my eyes

You’re my beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?

Was it out of the blue

‘Cause I swear I never knew it

When did you let your heart run free?

Have you been waiting long?

When did you fall in love with me?

When did you fall in love?

Was it at the coffee shop

Or that morning at the bus stop

When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand

Or the time we built the snowman

The day at the beach, sandy and warm

Or the night with the scary thunderstorm

I never saw the signs

Now we’ve got to make up for lost time

And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me

I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love

I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall

Have you been waiting long

When did you fall in love with me

When did you fall in love?

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/when_did_you_fall_lyrics_chris_rice.html

All about Chris Rice: http://www.musictory.com/music/Chris+Rice

Sooooooo...

Sooooooo... call me a bad blogger, but I haven't posted anything recently because I was feeling sick and had tons (no, literally: tons) of work to do. I'll be happy to start blogging again! Also, I will be on tour with a choral ensemble during spring break, so most posts will probably be from Abbi, but I will try some mobile uploads during our long hours on the tour bus - oh the joys of singing ;) Soooooooo... get ready for some wonderful posts in the near future! Your turn, Abbi. Hit 'em with your best shot. Here's a fun little poem to tide you guys over. Not rhyming. Just a fun and off-kilter look at romance. Oh... and all you guys out there: You know you've felt like this guy before...

Speech Impediment

Each morning, we stood at the bus stop
Not together, but in proximity
Day after day, week after week
I would glance at her in admiration
But I would never speak to her
There would be an occasional nod
And sometimes a smile
I would have liked to ask her out
I had almost done so many times
But my nerve would always go
So often I formed the question in my head
But the words wouldn’t come out
I always steeled myself
For the big moment, but it never happened
Then one day
When she looked particularly alluring
I thought to myself
This time will be different
This time I have rehearsed,
Though only on the cat,
This time I will do it.
So armed with a well constructed sentence
I made my move
I took a deep breath
Turned to face her,
The sentence looping through my head
Over and over
I opened my mouth to speak
But the sentence did not appear
Instead jumbled words tumbled out
From my anxiously dry mouth,
But not in the order I intended
Some words inappropriately joined together
Giving an all together different meaning
That may have caused her to be offended
It had gone better with the cat.
I just stood there
Spouting my nervous stuttering gibberish
I thought she must think me such an idiot
And fully expected her to laugh in my face
But instead she smiled at my nervousness
And reformed the words into a sentence,
The very sentence I had rehearsed,
Spoke it back to me
And then smiling broadly, answered yes

Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved

Speaking of different perspectives...

Shep and I are not exactly what you would call peas in a pod. He likes smooth jazz; I prefer rock 'n roll. He craves Chicken Bryan (any Carabba's fans in the house?), while I go for KFC. Even as we start this blog together, there has been a lot of give and take on the choice of design and content; so if you keep up with our page you may continue to see slight changes as our personalities go head-to-head :)
It's funny how differences of opinion that don't matter so much when two people are "just friends" (more about that later) suddenly become very important when those two people start dating. For example... Shep and I met in college, and as friends we often met for meals in the buffet-style cafeteria. Since very few nice *date level* restaurants offer a combination of fried vegetables and hummus, we've had to compromise a few times on what we would be willing to eat.
You have to learn a whole new side of a person's character when you enter a relationship, which can be adventurous at best, and hazardous to your health at worst. No, I'm not talking about meeting your sweetie's family - I'm talking about showing and receiving affection. You have some things that are appreciated pretty much across the board, such as hand holding, hugging, etc. There are those things, however, that seem like good ideas, but might not go over so well in practice depending on the recipient's tastes. Like back rubs. Shep very sweetly volunteered to give me a back rub one day, but after getting a few of my spinal discs rearranged, I asked that his love be expressed a little less "kneadily." And he has hinted that my love should be expressed without the use of such bad puns as the one in the previous sentence. Sorry Shep ;)
When it comes down to it, I really enjoy our differences. Sure, they cause disagreement and misunderstanding sometimes, but more often one of us ends up learning a new way to look at things. Because of Shep's unique bunch of quirks, pastimes, and preferences, I have gotten to experience all sorts of new activities (and some old ones in new ways) that I may never have been able to otherwise. In growing our relationship, I have grown as an individual. For those of you who may be butting heads with a loved one, no matter what kind of relationship you're in, try to take it as a learning opportunity. Be thankful for the chance to get to know that person better.
And find a good chiropractor just in case :)

Love and Stuff...

So what is this blog about? ...well... yeah. Love. But not through the idealistic lens. Rather, through the sense of two hopeless romantics who found out the hard way that life and love are not always about romance, perfection, and idealism. This is the wonderful and, at times, rather hilarious collage of a love story that God has written for Abbi and I over the past months. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, so I thought it befitting that we start this blog. While the book we are planning to write will cover all things in much more detail, this blog gives musings and anecdotes of some of the more notable aspects of our love and romance. This blog is also a place where other hopeless romantics can stop by and leave their commentary and respective stories. And hey... if you have a question about love or romance that you think a fellow romantic could help answer... leave an anonymous comment and we'll brainstorm it for you and get back to you. Whichever one of us can help more that is... *points to self* :) Abbi will also be posting things from her perspective, so that you the reader (as well as I) can learn a little about differing perspectives on love and romance....

... I'm rambling...

... I will stop...

... Please comment...